how i feel about my last cross country race and my last race that I participated in period, thus far
Im always telling my teammates to commit. Success in a race is determined by the ability to commit from start to finish, particularly when the line of discomfort introduces itself to complacency; charge the line or settle for mediocrity. To jump with hesitation is to ensure destruction in vacillation. Yet I fear commitment when I think. Thought is a necessity for action and yet action in thought leads to my detriment. Here I think again. My toe will heal if I give it time but I want to compete with my teammates for cross country. Up until now, such thoughts were nonexistent. I’ve committed over a year to running for life and not for college; I must commit for life.
Coach forgot to pick me up so I waited for 45min the other day. Then the next day the athletic trainers refused to give me treatment as punishment for not coming in when they wanted; i was never given a time they wanted and am unlikely to read minds in the near future; the obvious solution was a run; I ran happily.
i feel like i get upset over frivolous things when I see what disasters strike others.
I’m in a whirlwind and I’m quite near laughing madly at the entire debacle. I come to find out I declared my majors potentially too late and now have to scramble through high tides to get what I thought, apparently mistakenly, I had rightfully earned. My body is not capable of what I want it to do when I want to do it and it’s my own fault. The injury I suffer now is of my right hallux and that may or may not be something minor; I pray it is minor. We keep talking about just packing the bungalows and traveling to Australia or Italy and abandoning the world. We’ll teach english to foreigners, pan handle, play instruments, work eccentric jobs and just be carefree; Rex, Oves, and Gratia will take on the world; life is grand, and I don’t know what I want from it anymore. Or maybe I do, and that’s the problem.
I keep falling apart and each time I scavenge the pieces and regroup. Those who say never giving up is the process of victory are right in some regards, but what if we are all like Sisyphus?